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~ Sierra ~
AGENT OF JOY & INSPIRATION
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Posted: Fri Jan 11th, 2008 04:57 pm | 1st Post |
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Yesterday was a rough day for me. My four boats all have motor problems right now and I have been having to rent boats (expensive) to operate my dolphin tours. My cell phone wont charge. Our battery system in the kitchen is faulty and we don't have lights at night (We run on a generator during the day that charges the batteries for night time electricity). Because of the boat problems and having to rent boats, two people at one of the hotels didn't get picked up for the dolphin tour, they were mad and I have to refund their money. It was just one thing after the other. I was not my usual happy, joyful self at all.
In the late afternoon, I decided to go down to BLISS BEACH, which is the beach below my property on the very point. From there I have a 220 degree panoramic ocean view and the other 140 degrees, behind me, is rainforest. I can see the island, the bay, the river mouth and far out to sea from there. NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCE! It makes for incredible sunsets as there are rocks that jutt up at the very tip and make a rocky frame that the sun goes down between. It is simply breathtaking. Here's a Google Earth photo of Bliss Beach.
So, I played with the dogs for a while and then spread out the blanket I had brought with me and took a look around. I had come to the beach to feel sorry for myself and have a good cry. I just needed to release. I had realized during the day that I actually feel guilty when I feel bad because of the life I have set up for myself. I mean, come on, Sierra, spectacular ocean views, the most biologically intense rainforest in the world, dolphins and whales, I am bombarded with beauty every single day. How can I feel bad? I realized that I don't let myself just cry sometimes because I feel guilty what with all the good things I have, how can I not be happy? How can I get out of appreciation for even one minute?
But I decided it was time to allow myself to feel bad, even for a few minutes. TO RELEASE. It does not serve me to hold it in or ignore it, it just gets bigger that way. So I went down to defy Bliss Beach, to not be blissful there and to feel sorry for myself and cry. I sat down and waited for the tears to come.
Backing up a bit, a few years ago, Jeff Corwin (of Animal Planet) and his film crew stayed at my eco lodge for several days to film a show (you might have seen it, with whales in Costa Rica). Anyway, those guys were fun to hang around and I picked up some new language from them. First of all, they said niiiiiiiiiiiiicccccccccccce to everything and I still say that all the time. Niiiiiiiccccce!
The other thing I picked up from them is "What would Brian Botano say?" These guys loved the show SOUTH PARK and had every episode recorded on their portable DVD. Every night they watched SOUTH PARK and from SOUTH PARK, they got WHAT WOULD BRIAN BOTANO SAY? and they used it all the time.
It became a joke with me and my friends around here. Whenever we had a question about something, it was "What would Brian Botano say?" (Brian Botano is a famous gay ice skater in case you don't know!)
So as I sat there on the beach, I asked myself "What would Brian Botano say?" and that made me laugh out loud. Not a good start to my feel sorry/cry session. But then I got another question in my head. "What would God say?" I got a message to sit there on the beach and see everything through the Eyes of Source. My present situation and all that is around me.
As I saw my situation through the Eyes of Source, it seemed that I was just stuck in "what is" for a brief moment, a hold up of my allowing and flowing. I was instructed to see money as a flowing river and that river comes flowing to me always. I saw that my broken cell phone was in response to me getting annoyed with all the phone calls and asking the phone to stop ringing so much. I got what I asked for! Imagine that!
As I saw my life through the eyes of Source, many things were explained to me and none of the problems seemed big anymore. In fact they seemed just like the temporary contrasts that they are, contrasts to allow me to set of rockets off desire for something better. Through Source's eyes, I saw how I actually create contrast sometimes just for the learning and expansion. I mean, wow, my life is soooo good, that I have to CREATE CONTRAST! I make things bigger than they really are! Aren't us humans funny that way?
Then I started to look around me. All the boats in the bay that usually bother me because of "human impedance on nature" I saw as wonderful tools for people, who are part of this planet and nature too, to get around and enjoy this incredible area. I saw the shrimp boat coming in, which I usually throw not so nice thoughts at, through the Eyes of Source.
I started to get happier and happier. More Joy poured through my body. I put on my Ipod to a playlist I had made earlier. Thanks to David the JOYGOD, I had downloaded Om Namaha Shiva by Sheila Chandra (which he reviewed here on Atlantis). In searching for it on Itunes, I found 2 other versions also which I just love, one by a group called Divine Nature (which happens to be the name of my photography company and website) and another one by Panta Rhei, one of the most beautiful pieces of music I have ever heard.
I played them over and over as the sun went down and BLISS BEACH did it's thing, and brought me to bliss once again. I felt a moment of sadness as it got dark because I was so enjoying the view, but then the fireflies came out in force. The whole beach was sparkling with fireflies!! It was completely and totally magical, like a fairy tale dream!! And I was seeing it all through the Eyes of Source.
I also got a vision of that beach being used as a meeting place for light beings in earlier times, something quite similar to my avatar photo. In fact so similar that I got chills up and down my body. THIS WAS/IS ATLANTIS! I felt others around me, others that I have known before and know now. I was not alone on that beach, there were light beings all around me!! I had called a meeting, and my friends had come!!
I could have stayed there all night, and that actually had been my plan, but a light rain started and I gathered up my things and walked up the path to my room.
I tried, but I could not defy Bliss Beach! It brought me to bliss once again and gave me a new question to ask instead of referring to Brian Botano.
WHAT WOULD GOD SAY?
____________________
~Sierra~
LIVE A LIFE OF LOVE, LIGHT & LAUGHTER!
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HighlightedRoute
Just Follow the Signs!
| Joined: | Tue Jan 1st, 2008 |
| Location: | Netherlands |
| Posts: | 34 |
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Posted: Fri Jan 11th, 2008 05:59 pm | 2nd Post |
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Oh, Sierra, I just love your stories!! I can see how you feel bad to feel bad because of the life you have created, but you have every right to have bad days too and don't be afraid to let yourself feel that. I guess you tried, but Bliss Beach wouldn't let you... this was a beautiful story and from now on, I too shall ask "What would God say?" when I have a question or problem. I gather more and more tools every day!
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seekerofjoy
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Posted: Fri Jan 11th, 2008 11:12 pm | 3rd Post |
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Sierra, I love your story. You turned contrast that almost made you cry  into bliss. 
Wonderful , you go girl    
  Kalena
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Soluna
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| Joined: | Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 |
| Location: | Idaho USA |
| Posts: | 73 |
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Posted: Wed Jan 16th, 2008 04:38 pm | 4th Post |
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wow, thanks Sierra for sharing that. Amazing how you turned your day around...
and you don't have to feel guilty for having negative emotions. All of us do at times. We're only 'human'. 
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~ Sierra ~
AGENT OF JOY & INSPIRATION
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Posted: Wed Jan 16th, 2008 05:48 pm | 5th Post |
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Hi Soluna!!
Yes, it was a big realization for me about how I feel bad to feel bad. To feel good feels so good, but in just trying to be in joy all the time, I don't let myself go through the emotional scale sometimes. By not dealing with the emotions and the vibration of the contrast, it keeps showing up again because my vibration stays stuck there. So my lesson, or one of them at least, was to ALLOW myself to FEEL bad without feeling bad about feeling bad. 
Yes, we are human, and we chose to be here, contrast and all, and the idea is to use the contrast to expand, and not stay stuck there in what is. We are going to feel bad and feeling bad about ourselves because we feel bad keeps us stuck there. I don't wanna be stuck!
I also find that by feeling bad about feeling bad, I get further away from feeling good, and I actually forget, or choose not to use all the tools I already know work and will move me forward. So the added feeling bad about feeling bad keeps me even further in the hole, and it takes more to pull myself out of it.
Here's an example: The other day I was in "what is" about money and feeling really bad about it. On that same day, I posted Prosperity Affirmations by Catherine Ponder, whom I LOVE, and I didn't even read through them all. I have read them before, and just posted them without more than a glance. I know reading those would have helped me immensely, but I was so stuck in feeling bad and feeling bad about feeling bad, that I couldn't even bring myself to do something that would help me! If I was just feeling bad, appreciating the contrast and was in the place to move forward, I would have read them right away to pull myself up the emotional scale and bring me into better alignment about money.
Do you know what I finally did? I had an ALL ABE ALL DAY marathon and listened to four or five workshops in a row. I kept working, but it was there in the background and I heard what I needed to hear. But I actually had to say, "Sierra, you know what to do, you have all the tools and keys in the world, now do it!" And I knew in that moment that a DAY WITH ABE was what I needed. Another situation might have called for something else, but Abe was the medicine I needed at that time.
It also reminded me how much we need to support each other and keep this stuff in front of us all the time, because if you start letting contrast get to you, and you stop expanding and keeping this kind of leading edge information at the forefront of our minds, it's easy to slip back into being a NON DELIBERATE CREATOR and letting life just happen to us again. I LOVE CREATING MY REALITY and I find I need to be reminded often of WHO I AM, or I slip back into WHO I WAS!
Sorry rambled more than I intended, but it just came out!!!
____________________
~Sierra~
LIVE A LIFE OF LOVE, LIGHT & LAUGHTER!
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Soluna
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| Joined: | Thu Jan 3rd, 2008 |
| Location: | Idaho USA |
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Posted: Wed Jan 16th, 2008 05:57 pm | 6th Post |
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I like reading your 'ramblings'. 
you're right, it's great to have a place where we can support one another in this, and we do need reminders of how it works so we don't slip back in the old ways, as I occasionally do,too.
I tell myself the Abe quote, 'reach for the better feeling thought.' even if it's anger to relief, to feeling ok, and then contentment, hopefully.  
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~ Sierra ~
AGENT OF JOY & INSPIRATION
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Posted: Thu Jan 17th, 2008 04:03 pm | 7th Post |
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Yes, only recently did I really realize the value of the emotional scale and working your way up instead of trying to go from anger or frustration to joy in one leap!
It's all good and ALL IS WELL!!!
____________________
~Sierra~
LIVE A LIFE OF LOVE, LIGHT & LAUGHTER!
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